Paper Bullets Of The Brain

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOTHERS

2010-01-04T22:23:51Z

Oh god I think I just upset my Mum. But seriously, you know the one about how many Jewish mothers it takes to change a lightbulb? THAT'S HER.

'Is one log enough on the stove Mum?' 'Yes.'

*time passes. Mum wraps herself up in blanket*

'Mum are you warm enough?' 'Yes.'

*more time passes. Joy is slowly sucked out of the room*

'Would you like me to put another log on the stove?' 'There's no point, it's gone out.'

'Shall I put the heating up?' 'No, I'm fine.'

'Mum, are you ok?' 'Well I'm freezing my arse off.'

Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Ugh. I love my Mummy. I do, I adore her. But right now I really truly very much need to be IN A DIFFERENT ROOM.

On the 3rd round Cup matches

2010-01-03T18:10:31Z

O HAI UNITED. THX FOR MAKING OUR DRAW LOOK GOOD :D

BACK THE FUCK UP.

2010-01-02T18:26:00Z

I just saw the trailer for Daybreakers during halftime in the Reading-Liverpool game.

Placebo have done a cover of Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill?

This....is RELEVANT.

Simply Messing About In Books

2010-01-01T17:31:35Z

In 2008 I read 54 books. In 2009 I aimed to read 60, but I also started making notes as I write, and was amazed how much that slowed me down (as well as how much I got out of it). I only managed 33, although in my defense some were big buggers like Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Mists of Avalon, the Gormenghast trilogy...

In 2010 I'm aiming for 40, and my provisional* list is here:

1 Nikita Lalwani ~ Gifted
2 Christopher Hibbert ~ The Great Mutiny
3 Frank Tallis ~ Darkness Rising
4 G.W. Dahlquist ~ The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters
5 Joyce Grenfell ~ In Pleasant Places
6 Ursula Le Guin ~ The Earthsea Quartet
7 Mohsin Hamid ~ The Reluctant Fundamentalist
8 David Ewing Duncan ~ The Calendar
9 Terry Pratchett ~ Unseen Academicals
10 Mary Shelley ~ Frankenstein
11 Dava Sobel ~ Galileo's Daughter
12 Ariana Franklin ~ Relics Of The Dead
13 Margaret Atwood ~ Oryx & Crake
14 Sidney Smith ~ Collected Letters
15 Louis Sachar ~ Holes
16 Sinclair Lewis ~ Main Street
17 Katie Hickman ~ Daughters of Britannia
18 Mary Stewart ~ Thornyhold
19 Joseph O'Neill ~ Netherland
20 Michael Bracewell ~ England is Mine
21 C J Sansom ~ Dissolution
22 Geraldine Brooks ~ Year of Wonders
23 Maya Angelou ~ Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas
24 Eleanor Updale ~ Montmorency on the Rocks
25 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ~ Purple Hibiscus
26 F Marion Crawford ~ Gleanings From Venetian History
27 George RR Martin ~ A Game of Thrones
26 Mikhail Bulgakov ~ The Master & Margarita
27 Frances Osborne ~ The Bolter
28 Fred Vargas ~ The Three Evangelists
29 Christopher Moore ~ Island of the Sequined Love Nun
30 Charlie Connelly ~ Attention All Shipping
31 John Connolly ~ The Book of Lost Things
32 Elizabeth Gaskell ~ North & South
33 Maya Angelou ~ The Heart of a Woman
34 Marion Zimmer Bradley ~ The Firebrand
35 Anita Brookner ~ Hotel du Lac
36 Hilaire Beloc ~ Selected Essays
37 John Dickson Carr ~ The Six of Swords
38 George Mann ~ The Affinity Bridge
39 Pat O'Shea ~ Hounds of the Morrigan
40 Jeffrey Eugenides ~ Middlesex

*NB I reserve the right to change things up a bit due to birthday presents/getting bored/stuff that just looks really awesome.

Damn you LJ

2009-12-31T18:05:09Z

Some bastard thing keeps eating my posts - must rush join the family celebrations - HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

Pimping Chulu; or, I've Officially Gone Mad

2009-12-30T22:41:21Z

So, you know I said I was making an effort to post more? This is how seriously I'm taking it.

I've signed up for st_respect 's Ship Wars* as part of Team Chulu (Sulu/Chekov, since you asked) and am now duty bound to get my arse in gear and help out with challenges for sheer love of my OTP, or risk looking like a total arse. Winner!

Should anyone else care to join in the fun - and let me remind you, this is a chance to arse about in the fandom that created not just Slash Itself, but also Sex Pollen and Aliens Made Them Do It - allow me to pimp:

Info on the whole Ship Wars shebang is here : community.livejournal.com/st_respect/3329.html

Signups for Team Chulu are here: community.livejournal.com/st_respect/3884.html

And, since the whole point of this thing is to showcase the many, varied, wonderful pairings available in this fandom, signups as a whole are here: community.livejournal.com/st_respect/3884.html#comments . There are currently teams for slash, het and threesome ships, as well as Team Tribble for you pervs who can't decide and just want to watch ;)

* Important - NO SQUEE WILL BE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS COMPETITION. ALL BASHING WILL BE DESTROYED. WITH RED MATTER.

Aston Villa 0 Liverpool 1 (Torres)

2009-12-29T21:47:18Z

*blinks*

*blinks*

Two wins in a row???!!???!11\0/??!

Since we left that so late there don't seem to be pics yet, so here's ~~Chekov and Sulu greeting people at their wedding reception~~ BB Anton and the Choverlord hanging out on set :)

Right. So.

2009-12-28T13:47:27Z

It's time for yet another round of Zan Tries To Get Back Into Posting Regularly! *waits for audience applause...not a sausage*

In the interests of which, behold what I got for Christmas!

~ Money, from my Grandad. Always very useful :)

~ A FOB WATCH. No, really. It's sitting in my shirt pocket right now, anchored through one of my buttonholes. I have opened it on several occasions but have yet to turn into a Timelord which is probably a good thing.

~ Three pairs of Star Trek TOS socks, in command gold, science blue and *eep* red. Because my brother rocks.

~ Merlin Series 2 vol 1 and the Official Merlin Guide. Mmmmm. Pretty.

~ Unseen Academicals, and the latest in the Mistress of the Art of Death and Liebermann Papers series. Am now hurrying to finish Robin Hobb's Assassin's Apprentice so I can start them.

~ Duck Soup and the BBC's Heroes & Villains on DVD. On one hand, lung-capacity-endangering lulz. On the other, Harry Lloyd being gorgeous and getting slaughtered. Hmmm.

~ Brought back from Riyadh by my father, an enormous burgundy and gold Kashmiri shawl, and a hijab, made of incredibly delicate black material and embroidered with little red flowers at the edges. I want to learn how to wear it in case I ever visit a mosque on holiday, like when I cover my shoulders in the Vatican.

~ A cold. But it was pretty much over by Christmas Day afternoon and it's all gone now :D

Chelsea 2 Liverpool 0

2009-10-04T17:12:01Z

Dear Reds,

SRSLY U GUYS.

U GUYS.

SRSLY.

27 hours more to stay spoiler-free for FlashForward...*sigh*

Fiorentina 2 Liverpool 0

2009-09-29T20:41:53Z

BEWILDERING MIDFIELD SELECTIONS MAKE PASHA HAV SADZ.

In other news, Chekov caps + roflbot = my new favourite toy, can you tell?

GNNNNNNNUHHHHHHH

2009-09-28T18:34:24Z

Remaining spoiler-free...I'm doing it right but my god does it suck

2009-09-27T10:13:38Z

Ok, so since Thursday I have:

1. Driven to Heathrow and back through the SLOUGH OF DESPOND that is the rush hour M25 to drop my Dad off to fly back to Saudi Arabia.

2. Looked after my sick mummy who does have the lurgy.

3. Listened to the Reds win 6-1 (heeee!)

4. Done the week's shopping.

5. Watched Merlin 2x2 and got half way through ploughing through the endless merlin_anon posts/reactions/reviews about same.

6. Tidied my room.

7. Watched Alpha Dog and officially booked my place in the SPECIAL HELL. I C U BB!ANTON, MAKING ME AN EPHEBOPHILE.

...and am now off to a Fine Food and Craft Fair.

AND I STILL NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH 34 MORE HOURS OF NOT LOOKING AT ANY OF THE FLASHFORWARD THREADS. AND ONLY A FEW OF THOSE CAN I SLEEP THROUGH.

...i don't think i can hold out much longer D: NEED MOAR CHO, GODDAMNIT.

I think I'm having earsex.

2009-03-09T15:00:24Z

Listening to Cry Babies on Radio 4.

Um...Colin?

PLEASE NEVER TO STOP SAYING WORDS. EVER.

Dear god. My palms are sweating.

Question: Is it even possible to retro-pimp a show?

2009-02-03T17:08:23Z

Because the thing is this.

BBC4 is repeating Party Animals, starting Tuesday 09 Feb 22.50pm. There's only the one season, it wasn't recomissioned and it ain't never gonna be recomissioned now, since the stars are off doing other things - Andrew Buchan's The Fixer, Andrea Riseborough's ongoing rampage of awesome, Shelley Conn's in Mistresses and Matt Smith...I'm sure I read somewhere he's doing some obscure scifi thing (C WHUT I DID THAR? Also, I suspect that's the main reason we're getting a repeat in the first place)

BUT:

I really really really liked it and would recommend it to anyone. I think it suffered on its initial run cos people were expecting it to be a British West Wing, which it so isn't, but the character drama is wonderful. This was the show that made me a fan of Andrew Buchan, Matt Smith and Andrea Riseborough and they're all great in it. Andrew and Matt make one of the best sibling relationships I've seen on telly, and Andrea does an amazing job taking her character from UTTERLY UTTERLY PUNCHABLE to Redeemable But Still Badass Deadpan Snarker.

Also, if you're needing to see some more Matt before he picks up his TARDIS keys (on top of Moses Jones) this is a good place to start.

Also Also, the soundtrack kicks arse. Best use of Walls Come Tumbling Down EVER.

Also Also Also, there seems to have been some sort of edict that Andrew Buchan had to take his top off at least once per episode :D

meep

2009-01-03T17:52:25Z

Ok, is anyone else getting shamefully giddy as they try and second guess the TEASING TEASING BASTARDS on DW Confidential as they whip us to fever pitch?

I AM 32 YEARS OLD I SHOULD NOT FALL FOR THIS SHIT.

EXCEPT THAT OH GOD OH GOD THEY'VE NOW CONFIRMED IT'S A 26 YEAR OLD.

*is not getting hopes up is not getting hopes up is not getting hopes up*

I loathe myself.

ETA - Well! Not my first choice, but I'm a fan of his anyway, so I'm excited and intrigued :D

General graphics pimpage

2009-01-01T15:10:09Z

I has pretty pretty new Merlin/Arthur layout! It was made by milou_veronica , and is part of a set here:

community.livejournal.com/merlinxarthur/445209.html

which also includes nice simple instructions and a selection of headers featuring Merlin, Arthur, Morgana and Gwen. It's just so lovely, and so clearly took a lot of care and attention to make, that I had to pimp it. And it gave me an excuse to add the Apollinaire poem I took my username from at the top there :D

And while I'm on a pimping tip, behold mah smexy emo!Colin icon. 'Tis by matan4il

*basks in all this beauty*

JUST CALL ME FLAILY MCFLAILSON

2008-12-21T10:51:57Z

I've had a pretty spectacular end of the year, fandom-wise:

1. MERLIN! It's like the universe went 'I MADE YOU A SHINY NEW SHOW WITH A SHINY NEW OTP PLAYED BY A SHINY NEW RPS OTP THAT WILL FILL YOUR DAYS WITH SHINY...AND I DIDN'T EATED IT. HERE. IS FOR YOU. IS GIFT.'

2. See previous post. Blur. MOTHER.FUCKING.BLUR.

3. Q: What's the only thing more awesome than Rupert Penry-Jones playing Richard Hannay in a brand new adaptation of The 39 Steps?

A: Rupert Penry-Jones playing Richard Hannay in a brand new adaptation of The 39 Steps and revealing he's a fan of the books. Film all of them!!! NAO!!!! MR STANDFAST IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.

4. Harry Lloyd appearing in Arthur Miller in the West End with Ken Stott? O HEL YEA. No idea if I'm going to be able to afford it, but I'm fucking well going to try.

And just to top it all, this:

www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2008/12_december/19/sherlock.shtml

BBC Wales Drama, BBC One and Hartswood Films announce Sherlock, a contemporary remake of the Arthur Conan Doyle classic, starring Benedict Cumberbatch (Starter For Ten, Stuart A Life Backwards) as the new Sherlock Holmes and Martin Freeman (The Office, Hot Fuzz) as his loyal friend, Doctor John Watson.

Rupert Graves (God On Trial, Midnight Man) plays Inspector Lestrade.

The drama is co-created by the amazing partnership of Steven Moffat (Doctor Who, Coupling) and Mark Gatiss (The League Of Gentlemen, Doctor Who, Crooked House) and produced by Sue Vertue (Coupling, The Cup).

sapfdomkar/.dkauobig. New Holmes? Modern day Holmes with Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman and Rupert Graves, scripted by Gatiss and the Moff? Excuse me, I appear to have died and gone to fangirl heaven. It's all rather overwhelming...

AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL THE PEOPLE....SO MANY PEOPLE....

2008-12-09T18:37:19Z

We now take a break from Zan's Irregular Squeeing Over Harry Lloyd and/or Merlin to bring you something that will possibly strike you as an extreme reaction unless you know me from school or university which I'm fairly certain all of you don't, but I just have to say it somewhere:

www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/dec/09/blur-reunion-hyde-park-gig

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I...it's just...What you have to understand is this. Without Blur, I would not be on LJ typing this today. Not because I'd be dead, but because I'd be a Tory-voting housewife who read a lot of Joanna Trollope (no diss to Tory-voting housewives who etc, but still). If I hadn't got into Blur and actually got my head out of the sand of my middle class public school education, I'd have never realised I was into punk and feminism and graphic novels and football and slash and pretty much everything that means and awful awful lot to me today. And now after wanting to bang their heads together to make up over the last few years THEY'RE BACK BACK BACK AND I WILL FINGERS CROSSED GET TICKETS TO SEE THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE FOREVER AND I'M ALREADY DECIDING WHICH OF MY TOUR T-SHIRTS I WILL WEAR AND OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. MY BOYS.

Question: is it still acceptable to push to the front of the mosh-pit and throw packets of winegums with messages on them at Graham Coxon when you're 32?

Merlin Ep 4: The Poison Chalice or, Zan pops up from nowhere with a new obsession again

2008-10-18T13:27:18Z

So, I sat down to watch the first episode of Merlin with a cry of 'Go on then, impress me, reason I'm not getting season 3 of Robin Hood until next year'...and, it kind of did. Kind of being the operative phrase, because at first I had to get over my own grounding in Excalibur and Once and Future King to accept this version of Arthurian legend, and the watchable-but-not-mindblowing nature of the first couple of eps, and the fact that Will and Djaq aren't in it.

But hey, if I condemned every TV programme that didn't have Will and Djaq in it...*

Because over the four eps so far broadcast, this is shaping up to be a very promising little show, which is very pretty in both scenery and cast, and (this is where I finally come to the point) contains in Merlin/Arthur an OTP that has eaten my brain quicker than any pairing other than Sam Tyler/Gene Hunt.**

And therefore, behold, I bring waffling about episode four:

It hardly needs saying that it is only by dint of much effort that this review consists of more than just ‘Oh, Arthur. Oh, Merlin. Oh, Arthur’ AD INFINITUM.

I mean SRSLY. All that was missing was a Peter Falk voiceover saying ‘He was surprised to discover that when he /made him wear foolish apparel/willingly downed a goblet of poison to save him/braved GIANT SPIDERS OF ICK/started muttering incantations in his fever-induced delirium/ , what he meant was ‘I love you.’

Random thoughts as I watched:

I love that synchronised move up the hall the respective courts of Camelot and Mercia make towards each other, even if the shot is lifted wholesale from the intro to Kenneth Branagh’s film of Much Ado About Nothing. It just looks lovely, with the red and blue liveries. I’d like a chess set like that. So long as the Arthur and Merlin figures were fully articulated.

Clive Russell doesn’t get enough to do as Lord Bayard, but he rocks in general, so yay.

‘There is no way that’s a proverb. You just made that up.’ Ha!

Ah, the tried and tested here are my breasts, please take them gambit. Merlin is admirably subtle in his copping an eyeful. Harry Lloyd still does the best o_0 ZOMG BOOBS face though. And look at her jezebel-like wiggle as she saunters off!

I like that Arthur’s chalice is so delightfully grail-esque.

Have to quote this bit in full for sheer joycore:

Merlin: (recoiling from Arthur’s party outfit) When’s the last time these were cleaned?
Arthur: Last year some time…just before the feast of Beltane. [Celtic paganism FTW!]
Merlin: (helping Arthur on with the jacket): Did it end in a food fight?
Arthur: Don’t all feasts?

BWAH. Oh Arthur. If this were the ‘20s, you would be a fully paid up member of the Drones Club. With Merlin as your Jeeves. Hmm..Wodehousian AU? *ponders* Also, I love how comfortable they are with each other in this scene.

‘Make sure my cup doesn’t run dry’/ ‘Polish the buttons’/ ‘Do you want to see what you’ll be wearing?’ - Damn you Much, ever since you brought up euphemisms EVERYTHING SOUNDS FILTHY.

K. Official ceremonial robes? Arthur so made that up. None of the other servants had the Hat. He just gets off on making Merlin look silly. And his ‘oh yes I did’ face when he holds up the robes is priceless. I’ve decided, what I like about Arthur’s Many Facial Expressions Of Win - apart from the fact that they are frequently pretty, amusing and icon-able - is that they’re so in character. Whereas most people would tone down their reactions out of politeness, embarassment etc, he just lets whatever he’s thinking wander all over his face - I have no idea what’s going on/ lol oafish peasant/ BORED NOW - because hey, he’s a prince, he can gawp at people however the hell he likes. (It’s part of the reason I’m hoping they do go down the Arthur-Morgana-half-siblings route, just to see the ‘WHUT?!?’ face Bradley James pulls when they find out).

At the treaty signing - squee for that WTF HAT/LULZ look between them.

Nimueh’s is an evil smirk.

Merlin’s so, I don’t know, competent, as he tries to calm ‘Cara’ down and find out what’s going on. And love that he gets all SRS BUSINESS the moment she mentions Arthur being in danger.

And true to what he said about Bayard’s boring speeches, Arthur tries to down his drink at least three times before Merlin gets to him, he’s so determined to get ratted.

Arthur’s genuinely embarrassed when Merlin bursts in, he knows what a diplomatic disaster this could be. It’s a great strength of the way he’s written, that although Arthur can be a bit dense in some areas, the stuff he does know - chivalry, court politics, combat - he’s a stone cold expert in.

Why is sloe gin funnier than just gin?

Love that Merlin tries to protect ‘Cara’ from discovery.

Respect for Bayard for his matter of fact offer to drink from the chalice himself.

Arthur’s NOES face when Uther tells Merlin to drink. Hearts.

Gaius: Uther, please - he’s just a boy, he doesn’t know what he’s saying.
Uther: Then you should have schooled him better.

Gaius isn’t just pleading for Merlin, he’s actually rather disgusted with Uther for doing this. Yay Gaius! And as hissable as Uther is, he is at least BADASS in his hissability.

Arthur: (making to grab the chalice) I’ll drink it.
Merlin: (pushing his hands away) No no no, it’s alright.

Oh oh oh. Merlin’s being all brave, and I’m sure he’s only doing it because he thinks either magic or Gaius can cure him if it all goes tits up, but he’s still all wibbly and looking at Arthur as he drinks and so determined Arthur’s not getting near the chalice. *loves*

Dearly as I love Arthur freaking out when Merlin goes all collapsy, can we just compare the reactions of the two young royals as it all kicks off between Mercia and Camelot:

Arthur: HELP WE HAVE A BOYFRIEND DOWN, REPEAT BOYFRIEND DOWN. NOTHING ELSE IS OF SIGNIFICANCE.
Morgana: Grabs a knife and gets ready to KICK ARSE AND TAKE NAMES.

Oh, but Arthur. He’s leaning over him! He’s carrying him to Gaius’ chambers! He’s obediently doing everything Gaius tells him because Merlin must be healed!

‘Sounds like fun.’ That‘s a ‘fuck yeah‘ moment. One of many for Arthur in this ep.

Morgana is so kind and concerned and reassuring and gentle with Gwen. I heart her.

Arthur: Because his life’s worthless?
Uther: No, because it’s worth less than yours.

;___;

Arthur: I can’t stand by and watch him die.
Uther: Then don’t look. This boy won’t be the last to die on your behalf.

Damn you Uther, I hate you because you are making the pretty boys angst, but I love you because you are properly ambiguous and interesting and sort of right in a very twisted way and really the only reason you’re like this is that something involving magic/dragons/Nimueh/Arthur’s Mum has made you all broken.

Morgana: Disappointed actually. I was looking forward to clumping a few around the head with the ladle.

Aaaaand with that she just made my list of Women Who Could Turn Me Gay Through Sheer Awesome.

Morgana handing Arthur the sword is all sorts of iconic.

I squeaked when Merlin started murmuring Arthur’s name in his sleep, no fooling.

Note how when Gwen says ‘She had dark hair; very beautiful’, what she means is ‘I WILL KILL HER WITH MY BARE HANDS AND NOT SHED A TEAR.’

Morgana sticks it to Uther once more \0/ Especially cool because she does it even while visibly a bit afraid of him and worried for Arthur.

I love love love Arthur’s quest, all of it, because it really does cram in all the Arthurian tropes: misty woods, Nimueh giving it the full La Belle Dame Sans Merci, caves, monsters, slaying of monsters, flaming torches, precious magic flowers, Arthur’s armour being all John-Boorman’s-Excalibur-shiny…seriously, it’s like a live action Pre-Raphaelites exhibition.

It’s a random tiny thing, but I’m so glad Arthur pats his horse as he ties it up. I haven’t been in the saddle for over 15 years, but I do like to see actors acknowledging that horsies need snuggles.

Arthur’s sword showboating is LOVE. Not quite as much as Will Scarlett’s axe showboating, but then that’s one heck of a high standard.

I do like that this show makes sure Arthur finishes fights as breathless and sweaty and knackered as you would do if you’d just exerted much physical effort while wearing a suit of armour. Because it adds verisimilitude. Not because Bradley James looks damn fine while breathless and sweaty and knackered AT ALL.

(BTW, if you haven’t yet seen Bradley’s behind the scenes clip in which he discusses the finer points of cockatrice wrangling, you simply must: uk.youtube.com/watch)

‘I expected so much more.’ Badass.

Arthur: Who are you?
Nimueh: The last face you’ll ever see.

If you didn’t go ‘Duuuuude.’ at that moment, you’re made of sterner stuff than me.

‘It’s not your destiny to die at my hand.’   O RLY? *ponders*   Yay, story arc!

Oh god. GIANT SPIDERS OF ICK.

Arthur unsheathing his sword one-handed to dispatch first G S of I - as I said, fuck yeah.

‘Arthur…it’s too dark…’   Oh. My heart. It melts. And then Arthur’s determined face as he pushes himself onto the ledge.

‘Leave them, Arthur’ <3 ‘Go…save yourself’ <3 <3 ‘Follow the light…’ <3 <3 <3

Um. I like Arthur’s climbing noises. That is all.

Ok, look, maybe I’m just a wrinkly old fanlady from a far more innocent age, but ‘Faster…faster’ induced absolutely no thoughts of boinkage in me until you lot put them there.

The soundtrack for this episode is all sorts of epic awesome, but this bit is positively operatic.

Dear Arthur,

I know it builds suspense, but next time you are being chased by GIANT SPIDERS OF ICK, don’t stop and check if they’re still there every five minutes. They are. And they’re still GIANT. ICKY. SPIDERS. Stop looking round and climb like fuck.

Yrs, moi.

We’re only four episodes in, and yet Arthur’s prison outfit is only the latest in a long line of BEST. ARTHUR. COSTUME. EVER.s. If you’ll forgive the cliché, Bradley James would look good in a bin bag (any lifestyle mags out there keen to put that to the test? Attitude, I’m looking at you).

Uther: You disobeyed me.
Arthur: Of course I did.

\0/ \0/ \0/ \0/

DO ME, ARTHUR. DO ME ROYALLY.

‘Put me in the stocks for a week, a month even, I don’t care, just make sure that it gets to him. I’m begging you.’

He’s nearly crying when Uther crushes the flower. And then stretching out to try and reach it…

I can’t even…See, this is what I love about this episode. All fannish slashy snark aside, from this episode on, the fact that Merlin and Arthur love each other is CANON. The fans and the writers might disagree about what type of love it is, but it most definitely is love. And that’s what charms me about this pairing: it’s like Sam and Frodo, or Jack kissing Nine in Parting of the Ways; even without the squee and flail and smutfic, it is just Good and True and Right to know that The Kids are watching a show starring two male characters who care deeply for each other and demonstrate that with their actions…even if they haven’t got as far as saying so.

*gets down off soapbox, carries on with squee*

Good God, Arthur/Gwen interaction! And he’s not even arresting her!!!!

(Did I mention Arthur’s BOOTS when I mentioned his prison outfit? Because I really ought to have).

Now, this is interesting. Because look at the eye contact between Arthur and Gwen when she first enters the cell. I am 99.9% convinced that she knows exactly what he’s planning from that moment on. And, since although I’m primarily Merlin/Arthur I’m well up for some Gwen/Arthur as well, this makes me glad. Check out the look between them as she leaves with the flower, too: she’s all ‘yay!’ and he’s like ‘ehhh, whatever’. *squishes them*

GAIUS DUZ MAJICKX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘That’s disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself. You’re old enough to be her grandfather!’

You know, that’s surprisingly near the knuckle for a Saturday teatime show. Not by DW standards, admittedly, but then DW can drop MASSIVE HINTS ABOUT GAY SEX blatantly and then say ‘oh, he’s an alien, he must have meant something else’

Gwen/Merlin. It is a good kiss. And he looks properly ‘Bznuh…?’ afterwards. Also, props to the makeup department for this ep, because Colin really does look rather corpse-like by this point.

Gaius insisting on an audience with Uther - and getting it - is fascinating. How much was he involved in the whole Nimueh/banning of magic/what happened to Arthur’s Mum stuff, do we think? Uther clearly gives him more leeway than most. *is intrigued*

‘Do you think Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh?’ TEASING WRITERS ARE TEASING.

‘I had help…a light to guide my way.’   Coming to a million icons near you.

Does Arthur know? Has he realised it was Merlin?

Uther: What did she say to you?
Arthur: Not much. Too busy trying to get me killed.
ARF.

Please note Uther’s reaction to Nimueh’s ‘not your destiny…’ line is pretty much what mine was.

Uther chickening out of telling Arthur about Nimueh is a nice echo of Gaius chickening out of telling Merlin where his magic comes from in Ep1.

Oh, convalescent Merlin in his blanket. *makes him chicken soup*

Oh for fuck’s sake, boys. ‘I love you.’ It’s really not that hard to say.

Merlin: Arthur? Thank you.
Arthur: You too.

ZOMG. DOES HE KNOW? DOES ARTHUR KNOW? It would be deeply cool if eventually Merlin was all ‘Uh. TEH MAJICKX. I DUZ THEM.’ and Arthur to go ‘Um. Yes? Your point being?’. But I’ll also settle for Arthur being adorably dense about it.

Next time: LANCELOTMANIA. *waves at any Heroes fans who drop by for Santiago and decide to hang around*

I like that after four eps of building up Gwen’s crush on Merlin, culminating in the kiss - coupled with her actually having some solo interaction with Arthur - the trailer suggests she’s going to be all up in her future co-home-wrecker from the word go.

And so is Merlin, it would appear, which means when Arthur inevitably goes all ‘UNHAND MY LOVE INTEREST, CLAIRVOYANT SMACKHEAD’, Lance can quite legitimately respond ‘Which one?’

Just to make up for your having to sit through my waffling, have a motivational poster:

*Which, lest we forget, now includes RH as well, DAMNIT. Although I am now having nice mental images of how the pair of them would slot into Have I Got News For You, or Desperate Housewives, or Match of the Day...

**Which is good, because I was getting a bit worried that my Will/Djaq obsession was a sign I was getting a bit heteronormative in my old age. But no, my freak flag is flying high, 'tis but that the Saracen and the Carpenter are JUST. THAT. AWESOME.

DAVID TENNANT'S HAMLET CURED MY COLD.

2008-08-09T09:09:21Z

Ok, not literally, I'm still a little sniffly. And no, I didn't get to meet him - I queued outside the stage door, and saw him when he came out to sign stuff, but it was an absolute scrum and I was three rows back and so didn't get near. But hey, I wanted to see his Hamlet, anything else would have been extras. And the Hamlet did rock.

What delighted me was how adolescent he plays him. When I first heard he was doing it, I thought he'd be quite a thoughtful, mature Hamlet, cos in the nicest possible way, he's at the top end of the age range you need to be for the role. But - and this is the true power of stage acting - he managed to create someone much younger, all through body language and tone of voice (the fact he's so skinny helps ;) ). And not just younger but less mature - in the first few scenes he's intelligent and depressed and perfect in court etiquette etc, but he's also a sheltered aristocrat: he almost whines about how cold it is waiting for the Ghost.

Talking about it with my parents afterwards, my Dad argued that he played him as genuinely mad, whereas my Mum said the madness was put on. I think it's somewhere between the two. The 'antic disposition' scenes, particularly with Oliver Ford Davies' hilarious Polonius, are definitely Hamlet putting on an act. It's in these scenes that he comes across as most Doctor-like, which is fitting really, because 'If this be madness, yet there's method in't' has to be the most apt description of Ten ever.

But the point is, from the moment he encounters the Ghost, I think something important does snap, for his Hamlet; he does become genuinely unhinged, a bit functionally psychotic. You can see in scenes with Horatio (Peter De Jersey, very steadfast and sympathetic) and Gertrude (Penny Downie, who is excellent. I think with a lot of Gertrudes you never get a sense of how much they know and when, but with her, you can really see it) that they're sad for him and humouring him, almost.

Because of that I think the final tragedy for his Hamlet is that by the end he has become quite cold and ruthless and pragmatic - exactly like Patrick Stewart's Claudius. He becomes the thing he has to destroy. O TEH IRONIES.

Patrick Stewart was frighteningly good as always. Absolutely in control except in his most private moments. For example, in the play-within-a-play scene, he doesn't start, or look guilty, or anything like that. He merely stands, walks right up to Hamlet and shakes his head. To everyone onstage, as if the king is merely dismayed or offended; to Hamlet and the audience, 'you'll have to try harder than that, sunshine'.

He genuinely loves Gertrude I think - but not as much as his crown. His 'It is the poisoned cup. It is too late' is a quiet aside to Laertes, a 'that's deeply unfortunate, but we're still on course'. The man's a genius.

Mariah Gale is a great Ophelia (deeply as I resent the fact that this is the second time this year I've had to watch her getting up close and personal with someone I really fancy); she plays it very young as well, aided by her very girly costumes, all short dresses and pedal pushers. She goes mad almost from being ignored by everyone: you really get the impression in her scenes with Polonius, Gertrude and Claudius that they're talking over and around her, never to her. And she goes genuinely, unsettlingly barking, not sweetly poignantly mad like many Ophelias.

Good god, I didn't think I was going to write this much. Quickly, what else did I like?

* Shallow alert. The costuming is fantastic. Dave looks deeply yummy. He's barefoot a lot of the time and um...I never thought of myself as a foot person before, but...*blush* Indeed at one point he's barefoot, in a tux, with his bowtie all unlaced and a crown stuck all askew on his head. GUH. To be or not to be? Barefoot, jeans, red T-shirt. Final duel? Jeans and a fencing tunic. IT'S ALL GOOD, PEOPLE. (Am deeply covetous of Gertrude's formalwear as well)

* I love love love his first encounter with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. In a lot of productions, Hamlet reacts sort of 'Oh, I knew Claudius would try something like this', but here he's genuinely thrown by them showing up, and you get to see him thinking on his feet to deal with it. Great stuff. Did I mention Greg Doran directed this? I have never seen a bad Greg Doran production at the RSC. And I've seen a lot of them.

* The play within a play looks fantastic. The dumb show is hilariously disturbing, or disturbingly hilarious, a mix of Leigh Bowery, League of Gentlemen and Little Britain. And the actual play is done in these amazing highly stylised black and gold Elizabethan costumes.

* The mirrored set. Could have been a bit hackneyed but they do some great things with it.

* Fortinbras' first appearance. They use the Fortinbras stuff just enough to emphasise that events in Elsinore spell the end of a dynasty, but not enough to drag the pacing.

* BEST - AND MOST 'DUH, WHY DID NO ONE THINK OF THAT BEFORE' - PLACE FOR AN INTERVAL. EVER. And one that could be construed as a shout-out to Doctor Who cliffhangers, now I think about it.

* To be or not to be does work better in that part, damnit.

Russell Tovey's Arse. Also, can you ship an OTP that doesn't exist?

2008-02-18T18:31:18Z

Strictly speaking, I should be catching upon all my other TV postings.

Like the Robin Hood Series 1 re-watch, which I'm now dreadfully behind on.

Or Ashes to Ashes, which while it looks like being a grower rather than an instant smash like Life on Mars, is still 45-mins a week of Gene, glorious Gene.

Or Torchwood, and how it's gone all RH in the 'ropey but endearing first series/ sexay mental FUN second series' sense.

But no!

I'm posting to tell you to watch Being Human on BBC3 at 9.30pm tonight. Because Russell Tovey is in it. Playing a geeky werewolf. The Radio Times says he's brilliant in it, The Mirror seems rather keen too. And in last month's Attitude, he promised arse shots. Plus, if enough of us watch it, it might get comissioned as a series, and more Russell Tovey on TV is, by its very definition, of the win.

Mention of Russell inevitably turns my thoughts to Eleven/Alonso, shimmering away enticingly on the horizon. People, I need help here. This thing, this potentially beautiful thing which in all probability will never happen has EATED MAH BRAINZ. It's got to the stage where if it doesn't happen, I intend to become a mad scientist and create a parallel universe in which it did.

I've already decided they're not allowed to do a full on Torchwood/DW crossover until Harry's got the keys to the TARDIS, because then we can have:

Team Torchwood all train their guns on the door behind which Tosh's little-machine-that-goes-ping has detected rift activity/alien beasties etc

Door opens to reveal Eleven and Alonso. The latter respectfully removes his hat in the presence of the ladies.

Eleven: Jack!

Jack: Doctor?!

Gwen/Owen/Tosh: That's your doctor??

Alonso (to Eleven): You have to stop meeting people like this.

And then watch Ianto go into QUIP OVERDRIVE.

'OK, Humbert Humbert, where'd you meet him, waiting outside his playground with a bag of Werthers Originals?'

Not only that, my subconscious has decreed that their first ‘Coming Soon’ entire-series trailer will be edited to The Beginning of the Twist by The Futureheads. Admittedly I think everything sounds better edited to The Futureheads, but seriously – Have a listen to that and tell me it wouldn’t go with footage of Harry and Russell legging it like mental while pursued by grotty horrid nastiness of the third kind.

Besides, the first verse mentions kissing.

I need many years of therapy.

Reviews for The Sea are in...

2008-01-24T18:48:15Z

The Sea had it's official opening night/press launch last night, so the reviews are coming in today...

What's on stage didn't like it, The Guardian didn't reckon the play but liked the acting, and The Telegraph liked it, but hey, fuck them, cos they don't mention Harry :P

(actually, we'll let The Telegraph off, cos they're nice about Russell Tovey)

However! The London Theatre Guide, This Is London, The Times and The Independent liked it and mentioned Harry, so they get tea and crumpets round my house - and The Indie gets extra sweeties for crediting him as 'the excellent Harry Lloyd' as indeed every media publication should do FROM NOW ON.

Also! Getty Images has some pics of last night's curtain call here, which aren't brilliant and come with watermarks, but you do get to see his nice suit :D

What? No seriously, WHAT?

2008-01-22T22:20:55Z

Heath Ledger.

What?

The Sea

2008-01-22T10:05:03Z

So I saw it :D

Thoughts under the cut - they do mention specific scenes, but nothing too spoilery if you've already read the blurbs out there. Also, I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE OF DOCTOR WHO AND THERE IS BOYTOUCHING.

Ok, ok, just to get the shallow bit over and done with up front:

OH MY GOOD GRAVY IS THAT BOY GORGEOUS.

I don’t know why I’m so surprised, really. I mean, I’m not telling you lot anything you don’t know, am I? And I have spent a shamefully large chunk of the last seven months perving over him in every way shape or form. On top of which, since it was Baines that made me a Harry fangirl in the first place, seeing him back in Edwardian couture was always going to make my joybuzzers go ping. So I should have been prepared for seeing him in the flesh, but no, still completely gobsmacked by how beautiful he is. He walked on stage, my jaw hit the floor and stayed there for pretty much the first half hour.

The eyes. The neck. ZOMG his shoulders in that greatcoat. And oh, be still my beating heart, his hands! I have serious hand!kink (I blame it on being taken to see Michaelangelo’s David at an impressionable age) and uh…he’s good for it. Very, very good. *fans self*

However, leaving the shallow aside for a moment, I did actually manage to stop thinking You would not believe what I was doing to you in my head last night* long enough to concentrate on the acting. I’ve been aching to see him on stage ever since I read the reviews for Bash last year, so I was worried that maybe I’d hyped it a bit too much and, um, no. No I hadn’t.

It’s like I said when we were squeeing over Angel of Death, he just throws himself into it; he’s so raw with the real emotions, whether it’s love or anger or fear or grief, and that can be almost uncomfortable to watch (for example, I think it’s interesting how many people have described the Will/Djaq confession as awkward); we sort of expect people to be more guarded or ironic and he’s just not, and that’s what I love best about his acting.

I think missmomoko said it perfectly when she described him as the straight man of the piece – a lot of the time he’s there for the rest of the cast to bounce their eccentricities off, and he often ends up at the side just observing their antics. But he’s never still, he’s always in the moment. The scene in the first half where he’s watching the ladies and the vicar rehearse the play: he just sits in a chair not saying anything, but you’re watching him go through confusion, embarrassment, sadness, fear…all through the way he clenches his jaw or his eyes flick from one character to another and – somebody please stop me before I go from understandable fangirling to outright stalkerdom, ok?

He gets more to do in the second half, and his scenes on the beach with Mariah Gale as Rose (liked her a lot, she’s very serene and sorrowful) and especially the final scene with David Burke as Evens (who is wonderful, and meant I had ConanDoyle!squee at seeing Watson live!), are great.

Of the rest of the cast – Eileen Atkins is magnificent. She’s got that seasoned stage performer thing where she just plays the audience like a violin. Mrs Rafi’s one of those women ruling her own small circle like a tyrant which she does so well – most recently in Cranford of course – and at first you think it must be coming a little too easy for her. But then she has this scene late in the second half where Mrs Rafi faces up to her future and she blows you away. She’s so bleak and desolate and utterly resigned to her fate, but still so dignified. *we’re-not-worthys her*

David Haig I’d seen at the Haymarket end of last year in The Country Wife, so I knew how good he was, but he still surprised me. At one point he has an extended scene where Hatch goes from just about in control of his faculties to complete mental breakdown and he’s excellent. It could so easily just be farcical, but he makes it sad and pitiable and quite frightening – you’re laughing because you’re shocked.

Marcia Warren makes a wonderful foil for Eileen Atkins: seemingly subservient, but full of waspish remarks remarks and dirty looks. And last but not least – Russell Tovey! He climbs higher up my Lust List with every role and he’s perfect as Hollercut, all warm and sweet and confused, even when he’s threatening violence with a big stick. You just want to nuzzle him. And he’s clearly been to the gym. Phnar.

Also, I read in this month's Doctor Who Magazine that he wants Midshipman Frame to come back as a gay companion. RTD, on the outside chance that you’re reading this, I think I speak for the nation when I say that this plus Harry as Eleven would be a PLAN WITH NO DRAWBACKS. Because you could have Russell in his immaculate navy uniform and Harry would keep nicking his hat, and then there’d be the shared fond looks of Aren’t adventures in time and space BRILLIANT and the holding-hands-running-away-from-monsters and Captain Jack showing up for the occasional Teimcock Orgy and I’m terribly sorry, my knickers appear to have spontaneously combusted.

*He really wouldn’t, you know. At one point there were outfits…

Robin Hood Series 1 Rewatch - 1x01 'Will You Tolerate This?'

2008-01-13T17:10:12Z

My abiding memory of the first ep is of it being, as Stephen Fry says in Peter’s Friends, 'awful…with glimpses', so it was rather fun to go back to it. I still think it’s incredibly clunky – the biggest improvement between the series is the editing, everything just flows better in series 2 – but now I’m a fully paid up fan I like the glimpses much more cos I know what they lead to.

Also, isn’t the colour palette different from series 2? This is much more muted.

Moment by moment thoughts:

Hello Allan. Phnar.

The guy in charge of the troop that capture Allan has to be the most competent guard the Sheriff’s ever had. What happened to him?

Aaand already we can see Allan thinking on his feet, reasoning he’d rather lose a finger now than a hand later (even if he does change his mind, bless him)

Robin’s been on screen less than a minute and already he’s showboating. *rolls eyes*

‘No singing!’ And he’s already being a fuckhead to Much. Having said that, dearly as I love Much, a long, continent-spanning journey with him would get a little wearing, wouldn’t it? Think Shrek and Donkey: ‘are we there yet?’

Oh, and here’s Sarah and her dad. This scene still makes fuck all sense. However, we can now make allowances for it because:

a) We just got our first ‘I love you’ from Much!
b) Robs, I’d forgotten what a slapper you used to be.
c) Exposition ahoy, this is where we learn there’s a new Sheriff (which Much must tell Robin about at some point, because the first time Robs refers to Edward it’s as ‘the old sheriff’
d) Ooh, and we have a timeline: Vaysey took power four years ago, so one year after Robin and Much left for the Holy Land

How Much manages to carry everything as they run off is beyond me. Robin, you might at least grab your coat off him.

Locksley! And the Hill of Angst above it!

Robs running his hand through the flowers is a great shot, you have to admit.

O HAI DEARLY DEPARTED DEAD DAD DAN. AND YOUR STUMP.

Uh-oh. Will’s onscreen. Expect no sense from me for a bit.

Lukey V.1!

Considering what a committed Robin fanboy he is these days, Will’s really not at all impressed with him at first, is he?

Recurve bow 1.01.

More timeline: Jane Scarlett died two years ago. We never do learn at what point Dan lost his hand, do we? Which is a shame, cos then we could work out how long Will’s been the sole able-bodied breadwinner in the house, which factors into why the poor boy’s so emo.

Will smirking at Luke’s archery fail: you’re one to talk, sunshine (obligatory Hood Academy gag)

GIZZY!!!!!!!

Will immediately hides Luke’s bow. Sensible boy.

Guy is so used to being obeyed, isn’t he? It’s striking how complacent he and the Sheriff are in this ep. They clearly haven’t had any challenge to their authority for ages.

Question: has Much been lugging Robin’s ermine around all over the Holy Land?

Love Will and Luke not taking their eyes off Guy as they bow.

Thornton! I missed him in series 2, he always came across as a thoroughly decent chap.

Oh, oh this is my favourite spot from the re-watch: in the shot of Robin and Much where Robin announces he’s granted Much’s freedom, what’s that carved into the wall behind them? It’s the bow and arrow symbol from the outlaws’ tags, that’s what! So is that Robin’s family insignia? A Scarlett-Quality-Assured kitemark? I love little details like that.

‘I’ve seen you fight.’ STORY ARC FTW!

Rob’s crack about Guy still not having respect is bang on, isn’t it? And Guy can’t disguise that it hits home.

The Robin/Guy action is off the scale…Wonder if we’ll get more of that in series 3…

All personal preferences aside, Richard is stealing the whole episode so far.

When I said this ep had glimpses, Much breaking down in the bath has to be the definitive one. Is that the first official ‘Oh, Much’ moment in the show’s history, or do ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ and the singing routine count? Regardless, that’s when Sam had me falling in love with the character.

Those black-clad guys hanging around the gates at Knighton are supposed to be the Sheriff’s spies, aren’t they? So one can see Edward’s ‘GET ORF MOI LAND’ act as being put on for their benefit.

Oh. Marian. Oh, it hurts, it hurts. (Those Tiger Aspect fuckers knew exactly what they were doing making this the last shot we saw of her in 2x13, didn’t they?)

Robin’s smitten. He is in deep smit. Marian on the other hand is just deeply pissed off. And everso slightly trembly as if she’s struggling to control herself.

Geoffrey the eggman. Fail. Much’s ‘showoff’ line. Win.

Now our first visit to the castle, and a great entrance for the Sheriff, giggling like a loon as some flunkey polishes his shoes. Doesn’t waste any time demonstrating his utter contempt for Guy’s competence, either.

Council of Nobles, taxes taxes blah blah blah. Again, complacent – they really don’t know what’s about to hit them, do they?

Our first ‘A clue: no’!

LOLz at Robin chucking his coat over that guard’s halberd. I also love the way he very deliberately hands Much all his weapons before he sits down.

Double LOLz – when Robin turns round to lean against the table as he expounds his taxation theory, the Sheriff totally looks down for a quick letch at his arse.

The ‘you’d be surprised/amazed’ scene: 1-0 to Marian, yes? Love her little smile; she’s clearly pleased to find his flirting isn’t getting to her.

‘Bring out the Locksley lot’ – and Allan’s already claiming that includes him. I love the phrase ‘Locksley lot’. Dunno why.

*fanfare* 30 minutes and 45 seconds in…WILL HAS A LINE!!!

And typical Will, he might not be the most talkative bloke in normal circumstances, but put him in a state of heightened stress and he has a tendency to blurt out something he’s been wanting to say for months, in this case ‘HELP HELP I’M BEING REPRESSED’.

Again, while Lukey’s all angry and frightened, Will has no expectation of Robin rescuing them at all.

Heee at Allan’s ‘ullo again’ grin as he’s dragged in front of Robin. How can anyone not love him?

‘Throw him in with the Locksley lot’ – and lo, Will/Allan is born. And Allan segues into his third accent in a single scene XD

Is it me, or do medieval feasts look tastier than any other kind of food? I actually had to pause the DVD and make myself a sandwich at this point.

Guy’s smirk as he takes Marian’s arm. Heh.

Edward advocates the long game, Robin angsts. Gosh, which conclusion do you think he’ll jump to?

Good old Allan trying to make a run for it as the prisoners are led out.

How exactly do the guards capture Much? And how do you not notice, Robin, you arse?

Blimey, a date! 26th April 1192!

Sheriff bantering with Geoffrey the eggman: first of many instances of him enjoying the street theatre aspect of executions. Love him singing along with the drums as well.

They draw out the rescue bit with all that multiple-camera-angles-and-slomo bollocks, but the hanging & rescue are still pretty old-school thrilling, I think.

Sheriff’s genuinely taken aback at Robin’s course of action. Get used to it, Vasey.

Guy’s just chuffed he’s got his very big house in the country back.

WILL! AXE! *FANGIRLS MADLY*

Allan is enjoying that horse ride far too much. Mind you, look who he’s clinging to.

‘I am NOT your friend’ Allan and Much start the way they mean to go on.

Little John! Roy! The random dudes who never turned up again!

O NOES! HOW WILL ROBIN GET OUT OF THIS ONE? (Answer: in his underwear! And that is why we love this show).